Wonder

I wonder, now that you're home…

Which of the letters I wrote while you were away would make you the happiest to see?

The vulnerable ones, where I let myself soak in the reality of the situation? Momentarily forgetting the lessons of the past few years… I feel like some of it might pain you, but the last thing I want is for you to feel bad. Or maybe they'd be a little bit unattractive… too… needy, or whatever. But maybe they'd also show you some pale shadow of the depth of my feelings for you…

The sexy ones, where I let my imagination run wild and free in an attempt to make the time go faster? I suspect you'd get a kick out of these… Perhaps as an ego boost, perhaps for inspiration for the next time you're alone… But they're such a narrow representation of my thoughts of you…

I suppose maybe both…? To form a more complete picture. So that you could see how I love your soul just as much as I love your body. How I experience the very essence of romantic love for you, aching both to touch your mind and your butt… maybe even both at the same time. Surely, we could have a heart-to-heart, cuddled in bed with your head on my shoulder and my hand exactly where it's constantly longing to be… couldn't we?

Or maybe… none of them at all. Maybe… you remembered that you already had just exactly what you needed. For now, at any rate.

Well. I'm nothing if not patient.

But gosh, I wish I knew.

Yours, always.
♒️